My Ninja Way
by jodiexluvsxanime
Summary: In this 3rd part, Jodie has FINALLY kept her memory under control. With insane wishes to the "anime gods", fighting, pizza and random killing, what will teh Akatsuki become? ARE THEY GOING SOFT? Kristy could only wish for that. But her wishes never come true, she's cursed. Join the girls again in this adventure of crack and random!
1. I'm baaack

**Lanie's P.O.V**

When I wake up, I notice my cage unlocked.

"That girl." Kisame chuckles.

"What makes you think it was her, un?" Deidara questions.

"Orochimaru's dead. What soul here would free all the expirements?"

"Good point."

We gather ourselves together and make our way out the cave thingy.

"You guys know where the base is, right?" I sigh. "I'm exaushted!"

"You've done nothing." Zetsu comments.

"Exactly! I haven't eaten at all!"

_**At the base...**_

"Karin-chan, have you ever thought of settling down?" Jodie asks.

"Oh yuck, no way." Karin shakes her head.

"Oh good, I'm not the only one!"

What has this world come too?

Jodie is calmly conversing with Team Taka while sitting in Jugo's lap.

Deidara weighs a metal pole in his hand, "Would this crack her skull, un, or fix her?"

"I wouldn't take that chance." Konan snickers. "It looks a bit to heavy."

Deidara drops that pole, a picks up a different one, "How bout this one, un? It's aluminum."

"Possibly."

Deidara sneaks up on Jodie and swings the pole at her head.

Her eyes roll back and she falls face first onto the ground.

"Oops." Deidara leaves the crime scene.

"Sadly, she's not dead." Sasuke sighs.

Hidan opens his mouth to curse as he drops whatever.

"BLEEP!" Jodie looks up, smiling.

Hidan raises his eyebrow, "What the-"

"BLEEP!"

-.- XD

Jodie continues her day bleeping out everyones cusswords.

Pein decieded to hold a meeting.

"WOULD ALL OF YOU SHUT THE-"

"BLEEP!" Jodie chimes not-so-helpfully.

Pein death glares at her, "Is that neccesary?"

"Possibly."

"Anyways, there's been some questioning on Team Taka." Pein grumbles. "It was Jodie's idea. We took a vote, and it was unaminous, mostly to get Jodie back."

"Woo!" I add.

Kristy facepalms.

"And there's a few new rules," Pein adds. "Like, no bashing Jodie's head in sad attempts to fix her... Deidara."

"It was worth a try, un." He shrugs.

"No fighting between siblings."

"Hn." The two Uchiha's.

"No raping each other."

"You mean that rule was never established!" Kristy exclaims. "Tha-That's sick!"

"You should change the rule to no raping each other without permission." Jodie adds.

"Fine. What Jodie said." Pein rolls his eyes. "And lastly, no more ordering pizza."

"Oh come on!" I exclaim. "But I love pizza!"

"Order pizza, you either have to pick it up or kill the delivery guy."

"Fine."

"Meeting dismissed."

_**CLANG!**_

"OW! DEIDARA!" Jodie rubs her head.

"Well then, un." Deidara pulls out a note book. "Wood is out."

"Ahh, I think I got a splinter!"

"I didn't do it, un!"

"Yes you did!"

_**CLANG!**_

"Welp, iron knocks her out, but dosen't bring her back, un." Deidara sighs.

"How can you tell? She's not awake." Suigetsu points out.

"Hmm." Deidara pokes Jodie's side.

"Poor Jodie." I sigh. "Stuck in a life of being hit over the head."

"The thing is, what if it wasn't her head that was hit?" Kristy thinks to herself. "It could've been the BACK of her head, or even her neck. Maybe her face."

Deidara takes this into consideration and pulls down Jodie's shirt collar some, "She DOES have sticthes on her neck-head area, un."

"There's your answer." Jugo leans back in the recliner.

"DA KRUSTY. KRAAYYAAAYAAHHHYAAAHHAAAB PIZZA! IS THE PIZZA YEA-YUH! FOR YOU AND... MEEEEEEEEEE!" I sing, to lighten the mood. "And instead of bashing her head when ever she's up, try and remind her of things."

"R'mind me of wha...?" Jodie sits up groggily.

"Do you remember waking up with Leader-sama, un?" Deidara chuckles. "Or even the day you and Tobi started fighting about who got to take the first bite of cereal, un?"

"Hmmm... Nope!"

"Do you remember jumping rope with Itachi?" I snicker.

"Do you remember Tobi fearing me cause I'm NORMAL." I grumble.

"Haha! That was funny though!" I laughs.

"Bitch..."

"Idea time." Zetsu walks in with a coffee mug. "Jodie, here's your morning coffee."

"Thanks Zetsu-san!" She exclaims, chugging the mug down, no matter how hot.

She starts shaking a lot and twitching, then drops the mug.

"Zetsu." I sigh. "What'd you do to her coffee?"

"Added a few caffine pills."

"How much is few?"

"Like, 7."

"Everyone take cover!" I hide under the coffee table.

Pein walks in with his own coffee mug(empty of course).

Jodie focuses her eyes on him, then glomps him to the ground, "HI PEIN-SAMA! YOU DRANK MY COFFEE! NOW YOU SHALL PAAAY!"

He just gives her a WTF look.

"Nobody move." I whisper. "Her attacks are based fully. On. Movement."

Now we're all just standing here while Jodie looks around lost.

"Peeein-saaammaaaa, where'd you go?" She checks closets and behind stuff.

"What's going on?" Itachi walks in, taking in Pein on the ground.

Jodie whirls around with a goofy smile, "HI UCHIHA-SAN!"

Itachi acts fast and puts her in a headlock.

"HEELP! ITACHI'S TRYING TO DO BAD THINGS TO MEE!" She screeches, kicking her feet.

Itachi drops her and backs away.

"No more coffee for her." Konan sighs. "She'll destroy the base."

"OH SHIT!" Hidan runs through the base. "SHE'S ARMED!"

Cackling is heard from the hallway, and in walks Jodie armed with Hidan's scythe resting on her shoulder, "PREPARE TO DIE BITCHES!"

Her first victims are Deidara and Karin.

"NI NI NI NI NI NI NI NI NI! FEAR THE SOUND OF NI!" She screams, swinging the scythe randomly.

"I'm fearing more than Ni!" Karin exclaims.

"GRAWR!" Jodie swings and gets the scythe stuck in the wall. "Damnit! Fucking cock sucker!" She fails at getting it out the wall.

I can't help but to laugh.

She disapears into a room and Zetsu quickly locks her in.

"Question, un." Deidara reads the sign on the door. "Is she safer out here with us or in there with all the weapons?"

"Get her out of there! She's not destroying another base!" Pein rips the door open and drags her out.

"She looks deflated." Tobi points out.

"Eh?" I check her out. "Caffine must've worn off."

"Pein-sama, I sleeepyyy." She groans. "An mah heeaad huuurts."

"Is she back?" Tobi questions, poking her face.

"Back? Did I go somewhere?" She wriggles out of Pein's grip. "Oh and Tobi?"

"Yeah?"

"STALKER FANGIRL IS BACK!"

Jump.

Sidestep.

**_Thump!_**

"Damnit!"


	2. A TobiJodi moment

**Jodie's P.O.V**

"Woohoo! Jodie's back!" Lanie cheers.

"Again. Did I go somewhere?" I cross my arms and pout. "Oh, and another thing... Lanie and Hi-daaan sitting in a tree!"

"Oh my- BITCH! YOU WILL DIE!" Lanie starts suffocating me with a pillow."

"Ack! Help! Ommmgggg!"

I kick her off and hide behind Konan, "Save meh Konan-chan!"

"Laaanie, calm dooown." Konan groans. "Let's all go to sleep."

"But it's 3 in the morning."

"My point exactly."

We all retreat to our rooms, Kristy using me as a sheild from Tobi.

Did something happen while I was gone?

**Kristy's P.O.V**

You wouldn't believe this.

I didn't believe it at first.

But...

I can read minds.

I really just don't get it!

But now... It's a good skill.

But now I'm scared.

I looked through Tobi/Madara's mind, and all his thoughts were about me and Jodie.

_Why-Am-I-Scared?_ You may ask.

The thoughts about me weren't so pleasant.

"Tooobii, the room is sooo faar." Jodie whines, plopping on the floor. "Can you carry me?"

"Nope." Tobi chuckles.

"NIIIIII!"

Tobi keeps walking, "Coming, Kristy?"

"Ah, yeah! I'll carry you Jodie!" I announce.

"Yay!" She jumps onto my back and I almost fall over.

_**'What's that bitch up to?'**_ Tobi thinks, slightly annoyed.

I struggle to get her to the room without dropping her.

When we're finally there, she jumps off my back and is about to retreat to her "room".

"Jodie." I whisper. "Guess what?"

"What?" I whisper back.

"I can read minds, don't tell anyone."

"BLACKMAIL TEAM!" She shouts, then disapears into the closet.

"..." I plop on my bed. "Well then."

I snuggle into my bed, but sadly, paranoia was slowly turning into insomnia.

I hear the closet open so I pretend to be asleep.

"Kristy," She whispers with some urgency. "Kristy wake up!"

I roll over and block her out with a pillow.

"Kriiiistyyy," She whines. "Kri-"

I whip around and slap her with the pillow, "Go. To. Sleep."

She pouts and goes to Tobi's bed.

Fine with me.

I lay back down and eavesdrop.

"Tobiii," She whines with more urgency. "Tobi pleeaaassse get up? It's important!"

**No one's P.O.V**

Madara stares up at the figure hovering over him.

"Tobiiii," Jodie starts to shake him. "Wake uuuup."

"What. Jodie." He growls.

"Are you up?"

"What do you. _Think._"

"..."

Madara sits up and glares.

"There's a spider in the closet." Jodie whimpers and points.

"Kill it." Madara drops his head back down into the pillow.

"Noooo I caan't!" She gets on the brink of crying.

"And why not."

"It's a big spider! And it's scary."

"Are you serious."

"Tobi, c'mon! I can't go back in there with it!" She wipes away unwanted tears. "Can you just please kill it for me?"

Madara looks up at her with softened features.

"Please?"

He sighs, then grabs her and pulls her down into his bed.

She sreams in surprise, but Madara quickly cuts it off.

She tenses up, her eyes focused on the closet.

"Go to sleep." Madara growls.

"Good night!" She chimes, turning over and kisses his cheek.

Madara just stares in shock as she falls asleep just as fast as she woke up.

_**~~~(The next morning)~~~**_

**Lanie's P.O.V**

I creep into Jistobi's(Kristy, Tobi, Jodie) room and take in the scene.

Kristy was practically eating her pillow, and Tobi and Jodie were cuddled together in bed.

This time, it literally was cuddling.

I wonder... If I could move one of them enough so they could pull a NaruSasu moment and kiss each other.

They WERE close enough.

But one of them would kill me.

And yes, I know Tobi is really Madara.

And he knows that I know.

And he's surprised Jodie dosen't know.

I creep over to their bed, "Who should I spook? Hmm... I'll spook Tobi."

I push my finger onto the icy window and let my finger go numb.

I then creep over to Tobi and pull back the blankets carefully.

Then I jab my finger into his bareback.

He yelps(in a Tobi-way) and jolts forward.

Things seem to freeze as Jodie wakes up from the noise.

"Mmmmmmm?" She exclaims.

Tobi. Kissed. Her.

She pulls away and ends up falling out the bed, "OH MY GOD!"

"Uhhhh, it wasn't what it looked like?" Tobi tries.

"Whaddya mean it wasn't what it looked like!" Jodie shrieks, blushing. "Yo-You just kissed me! On. Da. Lips."

"She sounds like a 7 year old." Kristy chuckles. "Afraid she's gonna catch cooties."

I cover my mouth to keep from laughing.

"Jodie. Calm down." Tobi holds up his hand.

"NIIII!" She starts crawling away. "I feel so violated!"

I felt like I was gonna explode from laughter.

They don't seem to notice me.

"Violated... I didn't think that was in your vocab, Jodie." Kirsty chuckles, pulling on her shirt.

"I'M TELLING PEIN!" Jodie screeches, still in the morning mood. "KONAN TOO!"

"Jodie! Jodie!" Tobi snatches her up and drags her away from the door. "There's no need to tell anyone!"

"HELP! HELP! RAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!"

"Shhhh! Jodie!" Tobi covers her mouth.

"MMF! MMMMMF! MM! MMMMMM!"

"Ah, morning mood. Everyone freaks out." I say as Jodie starts calming down.

Everyone stares at me, just realizing I was here.

"Out." The two growl.

"Ok ok, I can take a hint." I disapear out the room, noticing a crowd forming outside the door.

"What's happening in there?" Konan questions supiciously as Kristy exits the room dejectedly.

"I can't tell." I snicker. "Death hangs in the air."

We end up pushing our ears against the door and listen.

"See? It was just an accident."

"O-Ok..."

"Are you calm now?"

"I'm hungry."

"...This is a repeat of the spider incident."

"But-But I'm huuungry!"

"I'll let you out if you swear not to tell anyone."

"Ok... Can you make me waffles."

"Nope, can't use the stove anymore."

Jodie exits the room, skipping to the kitchen.

"What happened?" Kisame chuckles.

"Bzzzt." She keeps skipping. "I'm a bumble bee!"


	3. The zombie bros mission

**Jodie's P.O.V**

Misions... Yeah.

I could handle that.

I was with Team Taka to get 8 tails.

Lanie was with the Zombie bro's to get 9-tails.

Kristy was with Deidara and Tobi to get 2 tails.

"All of you are to meet up at the tallest building in Waterfall once your finished." Pein finishes. "Dismissed."

"You seem happy." Karin smirks.

"I'm always happy." I scoff.

"More than usual." She looks me up and down. "Something happened."

"LALALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU!" I cover my ears and follow Sasuke out the door.

**Lanie's P.O.V**

I walk boredly behind Kakuzu and Hidan.

"So, we're getting Naruto? Oh great." I shrug. "Can we get some food?"

"You just ate." Kakuzu deadpans.

"Well I'm hungry again."

"Oh well."

"Hidan! Back me up here!" I throw my hands up.

"You did just eat." Hidan ponders. "But you ARE pretty intresting."

"Hidan!"

"Let's just get her some food, Kakuzu." Hidan crosses his arms. "Big mouth will keep bugging you about it."

"No." Kakuzu growls.

_**(5 Minutes later)**_

"NOW can we get food, Kakuzu-kun?"

"No."

_**(4 minutes later)**_

"How bout now?"

"No!"

_**(2 minutes later)**_

"Now?"

"NO!" He roars.

"BUT I'M HUNGRY!" I roar back.

"I'm not spending money on your bratty ass."

"My ass isn't bratty, it's sexy!" I pat my butt and sway my hips.

"Suuure it is."

"It's more cute than sexy." Hidan comments.

I blush, "How would you know!"

He smirks but dosen't answer.

We keep on walking.

"Can we get some food no-"

"HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Kakuzu snaps.

"Fine!" I snatch some berries off a bush. "Eat my own damn food."

* * *

We come to this building.

They left me outside while they turned in a damn bounty.

I sit on a bench and scan the crowd until I find someone suiting enough.

"Excuse me." I tap on the guys shoulder. "I need some help."

"Ah, what is it my fair maiden?" He turns around with a big smile.

"Well, I'm lost." I get a sad look.

"Where're you headed?"

"Konoha."

"Wow. Then your a far way from there!" He chuckles.

My stomach growls awkwardly loud.

"Ehh, you didn't hear that right?" I blush.

"Let's get some food in you, eh?"

"Can we get ramen?"

We sit in a restraunt, but he orders for me, getting a cheap, small ramen.

Bastard.

We make small talk, then go on a walk.

"Oh look!" I point at a fight between Asuma and Hidan.

The guy starts pulling me away, "Let's go."

"Hey! I'm watching!" I force him forward and we watch the fight.

Hidan catches a glance of me and stares for a few seconds, then dodges Asuma.

Hidan's WHOLE HEAD comes off.

Eek, that looks like it hurted...

* * *

I hold Hidan's head, Kakuzu his body.

"Damn bitch, mooching off of everyone." He grumbles.

"I. Was. Hungry."

"I swear to Jashin if you say that one more time."

"It's not Jashin! It's Plinko!"

"What?"

"Plinko-sama is the true god!"

"Heathen!"

"Plinko-sama will kick Jashin's ass anyday!"

"Blasphemy! You sprout lies from your big mouth!"

"MY big mouth? Your the one with a big mouth!" I gasp.

"YOU BOTH HAVE BIG MOUTHS!" Kakuzu roars. "NOW SHUT UP!"

We're quiet for 5 seconds.

"Psh, Plinko." Hidan mutters. "Most retarded thing I've ever heard."

"Oh, you wanna start this up again?" I hiss. "Plinko-sama will forever KICK. ASS."

"Yeah right!"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Kakuzu snaps.

More quick silence.

"Jashin-sama kicks your gods ass anyday." Hidan mutters.

"Excuse me! My god is all powerful! He is more powerful than Pein!"

"Pein isn't a god first off, so your god is WEAK!"

"Oh! Oh! You wanna go there with me!"

"Yes I do!"

* * *

I rub my black eye and wipe the blood from my nose.

"That was unecessary, Kakuzu." I whine.

"Bastard." Hidan growls, also sporting a black eye(but back on his body).

We were silent for another 5 seconds.

"I should sacrifice you to Plinko." I growl.

"IT'S JASHIN!" Hidan roars.

"IT IS NOT!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"YOUR MOM!"

"BITCH!"

"ZOMBIE WHORE!"

* * *

We get pretty close to Konoha when Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, and Kakashi show up.

"Oh great, its the goody goodies." I smirk. "Let's kick their asses!"

"That might be the single most BEST thing that will forever come out your big mouth." Hidan chuckles.

"Psh, well your mouth is bigger!"

"Is not."

"Is too."

Kakuzu sighs irratated.

So I stand back while they fight and stuff.

Then they split Hidan and Kakuzu up.

I stand in the middle of the battle field, "Prepare to face my wrath!"

The Konoha stand ready.

"I don't wanna be a bird." I flap my arms. "I don't wanna be a duck." I make duck faces with my hand. "So I shake my butt!" I shake my butt and laugh, then clap my hands three times.

The whole group(including Kakuzu) sweatdrop.

Naruto and Yamato show up.

"Aw man! You guys missed my wrath!" I whine.

I pick up a rock and throw it at Naruto.

He rubs his head annoyed.

"Hmm, a wild Naruto... How shall I solve this?" I tap my chin. "Ramen attack!"

I pull out the leftover ramen and throw it at his head.

Oddly enough, he falls over knocked out.

"Haha! I win!" I cheer. "No wait... He's getting upp..."

Kakuzu facepalms as Naruto glares at me.

"Kakuzu! I choose you!" I point dramatically. "Lightning attack!"

"I'm not a pokemon." He growls. "And your not Ash Ketchum."

"Heh." I dash off into the Naara forest. "I just hope I'm not to late!"

I came just in time, Hidan stabs himself in the heart.

Shikamaru pretends to die, yadadada.

He gets up and gets Hidan all tangled up.

All the while, I was distracted by the squirrel on the tree.

Then I hear the all to familiar clink of a lighter.

"DON'T TOUCH MY ZOMBIE WHORE!" I jump on Shikamaru's back.

"YOUR zombie whore?" Hidan stares, bewildered.

I snatch the lighter away and throw it into the forest.

Shikamaru throws me off and I almost fall into the big hole.

"You like big holes, dontcha Shika-kun!" I laugh.

Hidan snickers, catching the hidden joke.

Shikamaru raises his eyebrow, "Who're you?"

"A bitch." Hidan jokes.

"I'm Lanie! The otaku of doom!" I introduce myself. "I know all, you know not a thing!"

"Quit showing off."

"No! I deserve my own moment!"

"Well make it quick!"

I start cutting Hidan down, "I, Lanie, am I flaw in your plan! Haha! Didn't think I'd do anything huh?"

"You looked more like a hostage than an ally." Shikamaru comments.

"..." I cross my arms. "Who asked you?"

"You did." Hidan jumps down next to me.

"Let's just kick Shika-kuns ass and leave!" I huff.

Then, Sai shows up.

"Oh cool, Sai-kun's here!"

"Jashin-christ! Do you know everyone?" Hidan snaps.

"Only the important people!" I laugh. "Hmmm, who're you?"

He throws a rock at me in reply.

I dodge Sai's drawing.

"Oh! Oh! You should draw evil spongebob! Er... Doodlebob!" I crack up.

I insult every jitsu everywhere!

Ino and Choji pop up.

"Fat ass." Hidan scoffs.

"Hidan!" I scold.

"What?"

"That's an insult to fat asses everywhere!"

Hidan cracks up this time.

"I'M NOT FAT!" Choji charges at us.

"Help! The pizza dough is after me!" I laugh and take off running.

Choji roars and turns into a human boulder.

I jump on top of him and run.

I run him into the big hole.

I jump off just in time, "HAHA! TAKE THAT! 2 YEAR LOG ROLLING CHAMP BITCHES!"

Then extra Konoha nins surrond us, putting us in a serious fight.

One guy almost slices my face in half with a kunai.

Hidan punches him right in the face, "BACK OFF MY BITCH!"

"YOUR bitch?" I question.

We stare at each other for a few seconds as the Konoha people lay passed out on the ground.

"I'm not yours." We both mutter.

"That... That never happened, right?" I rub the back of my head sheepishly.

"Right." Hidan nods and leads the way back.

We see Kakuzu just finishing up.

"Ahaha! I weakened Kyubii for you, Kakuzu!" I announce. "I threw hot ramen at him."

"Your an idiot." Hidan chuckles.

"Plinko-sama defeats all! I thank him for helping me win this fight!"

"What! Yeah right! Jashin-sama felt pity for you and your weak ass god and saved you so you could repent!"

"You repent zombie whore!"

"Why should I repent? Your the one with the dumbass god, bitch!"

I punch his arm.

He pauses, "Bitch hit me!" He says in a childish way.

"Psh, well zombie whore started it!" I protest.

"They got away..." Kakuzu mutters.

"Oh well." I shrug. "Let's go get something to eat!"


	4. An idiots mission

**Kristy's P.O.V**

"How much fartheeer?" I whine. "We've been walking for hours!"

"WE'VE been walking for an hour, hm." Deidara getsures to him and Tobi. "YOU'VE been walking for 5 minutes!"

Which is true since I sat on his bird for most of the ride.

"And?" I huff. "I'm tired."

Deidara glares at me.

_'Little brat.'_ He thinks, annoyed. _'Maybe if I ditch her in a well.'_

I duck down at the same time he throws a punch.

That was... Weird.

I can't dodge things for shit.

We walk in silence for a little longer.

Deidara rolls his eyes and poofs up a bird, "I'll meet you guys there, ok hm?"

"Oh, so you don't have to walk but I do!" I exclaim.

"Yeah, pretty much hm."

"Girly man." I grumble to myself.

I somehow MAGICALLY dodge his bomb.

So... I can read minds and dodge things really well?

As Deidara disapears, I focus all my attention on scanning through Madara's mind.

_'I wonder... Should I do it now or later?'_ He ponders.

Do what now or later? Whatever it is PLEASE CHOOSE LATER!

"So Tobi," I try and strike up conversation.

He twitches. Again.

"Oh come on! Why don't you like me!"

He looks me up and down, "I don't know... There's just something about you I don't like."

"Wha...?" I stare in pure shock. "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!"

"Nope."

"So you don't know why you hate you just do?"

"Yeah pretty much."

"I know why and who you llooooove though!" I tease.

Yes. I'm teasing a pshyco mastermind who's possibly worse than Jodie.

"Shut the fuck up." He snaps.

"God. Your worse than Jodie." I speak my mind outloud. "Not only are you both PSHYCO."

"Hn."

"But you both like things your way.." I huff. "No matter what you must do to try it."

"Explain."

"3rd grade, she wanted another cookie from the snack table." I have a brief flashback. "Teacher wouldn't let her, so Jodie left a bunch of soap in the walkway to distract the teacher while she grabbed all the cookies... Poor teacher never walked again,"

"Teacher deserved it..." He mutters.

Then he says something about cookie deprivation and how bad it was.

"Oh! And in 6th grade we had to say what we wanted to do when we grew up and she said she wanted to rule the world." I remember. "And something about all the free sweets she could ever want."

"Jodie has a sweet tooth?"

"Not A sweet tooth, half her mouth is her sweet tooth!" I shudder. "Halloween is a nightmare..."

Ok... Good topic is Jodie... And possibly sweets.

"So, you looove Jodie?"

"No." He glares. "I'm just... She's intresting."

"Suure."

"And she's my stalker." He notes. "And my fangirl."

"And yo loooove!"

"Stop saying that."

"She's yoour love, your love! Eh!" I quote Nicki Minaj.

"Kristy." He warns.

"She's hypnotizing!"

He throws a big rock at me, which nails me right in the neck.

I rub my now sore neck, "Ow... I can take a hint..."

"No you can't." He scoffs.

"Oh, and another question?"

"Hn."

"What's with the fluffy red clouds?"

"What about them?"

"Since when did fluffy and clouds make the evil list?" I scoff.

"You've got a point."

I start staring at clouds, "See? That cloud looks like a dog!"

Madara stares at the same cloud, "Are you blind? That's a bear."

"A bear!"

"Yes."

"Oh! Look! That ones a kitty!"

"That's a tiger."

"Psh! What do you have against cute things!" I huff.

He actually stops to think about it.

"...they're gay."

I throw my hands up and laugh softly, "Then your confused about your sexuality!"

* * *

"HAHAHA! OK! I TAKE IT BACK!" I climb up a tree, still laughing about his reaction.

"If you take it back, come down here!"

"Nooo! I don't want to!"

"So you lie!"

"No! I just... Like the view of the lake!" I point.

"Lies!"

"You lie!"

He easily scales the tree.

"Oh shit!" I flinch. "...damn ninja, climbing trees overly fucking fast."

"That's the lake we're spose to go to." He grumbles.

"Sheesh, how long were talking?" I huff.

"You ran more than you talked." He pushes me out the tree.

Again, MAGICALLY, I land on my feet.

I'm so cool.

We meet up with Deidara who was waiting inside a dango shop.

"Hey Deidara!" I wave.

"Took you long enough, un." Deidara rolls his eyes. "Let's go."

"No, I'm getting food." I walk into the dango shop.


	5. The mission for 8tails!

**Jodie's P.O.V**

Meh... We had found 8 Tails, but we haven't attacked yet.

"Jodie." Sasuke snaps me to attention. "Go distract him."

"Why me?"

"Because your distracting."

I sigh and jump and land on the water.

Which fails because I kinda fall into it with every few steps.

"Sup Killer Bee, I'm here to play can't you see? Haha! Turn around, I'm a clown! Or are you afraid, it's to bad I don't get paid." I rap, walking up to him.

He turns around looking instrested, "You think your rhymes are slick, but your just some chick! Your rhymes are so bad, they make me feel sick!"

Now it's personal, "Hating on my rhymes that's just not cool, I came here to rap and you try to make me look like a fool!"

"I must say, you've got some skills, to get this far without getting the chills~! But don't think your still not a fool, I'll eat you up and spit you out like some day old gruel."

"Now your just being mean, you haven't seen the things that I've seen! I get what I desire, it's my empire! And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire! I sprinkle holy water upon the vampire!" I pull myself out the water some.

"Your rhymes are cheap, they don't go to deep! I could do any of those without trying, in my sleep! Your rhymes are poor, not what the fans adore!"

"Look old man, I'll take you out of the flame and into the fire pan! My name is Jodie, you must know that I ain't grodie! I run this show, and you will never know! I'm unthinkable, unstoppable! A pick me up, untouchable! Even out of all the things you do, I'll kick your ass with a simple Chu~!"

Sasuke comes out of nowhere and starts fighting with Killer Bee.

I jump out the way, liking my head on my neck.

* * *

I stand back and let them do the fighting.

"Your a really good rapper." Karin praises. "Much better than that old guy."

"Thanks! I try hard!" I chuckle. "Who says girls can't rap?"

I jump out the way as Killer Bee rockets towards us.

"That poor rock!" I huff. "Where am I spose to stand now?"

Killer Bee gets all these swords as Sasuke comes back around.

And I couldn't help it.

"IT'S ZOLO!" I laugh.

I'm ignored by the fighters and I get even farther away.

"Hm... Whenever I think of Killer Bee, honey comes to mind." I mutter.

"How come?" Jugo asks.

"Because bees make honey."

"Ok."

"But honey's nasty."

"Uh-huh."

I jump out the way once again and sigh irratatdely.

Next thing I know, Sasuke is missing some vital organs.

I shreik like a banshee and step up to 8-tails formed Killer Bee.

"You..." I growl, doing hand signs. "You DAMAGED Sasuke."

"So?" Killer Bee stares.

"Do you know how much TROUBLE I will be in now!" I hiss. "Lanie is gonna KILL ME!"

"Not my problem."

"IT IS NOW!" My frying pan poofs into my hand and I start beating him senseless. "**GOD. DAMNED. BEAST! YOUR. GONNA. GET. ME. KILLED!**"

"Jodie!" Karin calls me off.

I do a backflip to the others and pout on a new rock.

Killer Bee looks a bit dazed from all the hits he took.

Suigetsu comes to the rescue with his water jitsu!

I start pulling up the sleeves of my Akatsuki cloak.

Karin smirks, "Maybe-_MAYBE_-You'll grow into it!"

"Oh shut up!" I pout.

We dash even farther as Sasuke comes too.

"SASUKE!" I snap. "AMETARASU HIS ASS RIGHT NOW OR I WILL FIRE STYLE YOU!"

He groans, but forces himself to his feet.

"Jugo... You look younger?" I gasp.

"I merged myself with Sasuke to fix him." Jugo replies.

"Ni!" I pout some more. "I wanna cool power like that!"

Sasuke's eye turns into a Jewish star and Killer Bee catches on fire.

"YEAH YOU LITTLE BITCH!" I tease. "TAKE THAT!"

Sasuke smacks the back of my head.

"Ouch." I rub my head.

Sasuke some how puts out the black flames and grabs Killer Bee.

"_And the winner is:_ Team Taka and Jodie!" I chuckle.

We start heading back to Waterfall village.

Then I see a squirrel.

"Don't you dare." Sasuke glares.

My eyes widens as the squirrel stops and stares at me.

"Jodie?" Jugo asks with that ever-even tone. "Do you have something against squirrels?"

I growl at the squirrel and get into a fighting stance.

"No." Sasuke glares.

"NI! NI! NI NI NI NI NI NI NI NI!" I chase after the squirrel with my frying pan. "DIE SQUIRREL! NI NI NI NI!"

Sasuke catches me by the collar of my shirt, "No. Down girl."

"But-But-But! It's teasing me!"

"Bad!" He whaps me on the head. "Down!"

"OW!"

* * *

**Hi everyone :3 sorry for the long wait, I should really keep track of my last updates. SO sorry! Last chapter reviews said it was random... is that good or bad? I didn't think they were THAT random.**


	6. Blue Kyuubi

**Kristy's P.O.V**

"I loooove this place!" I throw my arms up. "It's got so much stuff!"

"Where do you get all this money, un?" Deidara mutters.

"What money?" I raise my eyebrow. "I'm broke."

"Then how're you getting all this, un?"

"I learned from the best! Thank god Jodie was born."

"I'm lost, un."

"Watch and learn boys!" I scan the crowd until I find a cute boy being teased.

He's younger than me... Great, cause that's all I can get sadly.

"Hey there." I wave to the boy. "What's your name?"

"I'm Fin!" He puts his hands on his hips. "Your cute!"

"Oh! Hahah!" I giggle. "Your cute too! Let's say we go on a play date?"

Might as well get straight to the point... he seems eager.

"Your treat, right?"

"Of course!"

We go into a fancy restraunt with plenty seafood!

"DEI! TOBI!" I call out.

They appear before my very eyes and take a seat.

I sit down next to Fin, and order some good food for all of us.

After a few minutes, fish burgers, fries, and shrimp alfredo set out in front of us in huge bowls!

Then she passes out plates.

After we're done eating I kiss Fin, "Thanks for the food, hon!"

Then I get the hell outta there with Deidara and Tobi at my heels.

"Hm... So why the young kid?" Deidara questions.

"I'm not that good at it, ok!?" I huff.

We stare at the crowd forming in the square.

"Lanie-nunu! Jodie-nunu!" Tobi cheers.

**Lanie's P.O.V**

"DUMBASS! UNTIE ME!" I scream at the stranger.

"WHERE'S MY CANDY!?" Jodie screeches.

"That's what your worried about right now? Seriously?" I sigh.

"He stoled my candy! I want my candy back!"

"Shut it, fowl beasts!" He growls.

"GIMME BACK MY-" Jodie's eyes focus on someone in the crowd. "TOBI! HEEELP!"

"Stay back!" The man growls. "Get away from these foul beasts!"

Kristy is suddenly surronded with kunai pointing at her.

"Help!" She yelps. "I'm to young to die!"

"Hey! Everyone calm down!" Jodie yells. "Let's just sit down and talk this out!"

"There's no talking with these beasts!" The guy yells.

"For the love of anime gods, explain what's going on!"

"Blasphemy!" Hidan roars, stomping into the crowd. "Jashin-sama is only god!"

"Nooo, it's Plinko-sama!" I correct.

"LIES!"

"How bout we say this: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL YOUR GODS, SHUT UP!" Kakuzu screams.

We all shut up to lower the risk of having our hearts pulled out through our ears.

"Tobi's confused! Where are the beasts?" Tobi pipes in.

"Those 3 MONSTERS." The guy hisses. "Blue Kyuubi! A test gone wrong! Monsters! Beasts!"

"Blue Kyuubi?" I mutter. "What the fuck is that?"

There's the sound of a sword being unsheathed, "This is a waste of time. Let's go."

Sasuke cuts us free and knocks out the guy.

"Thanks Sasuke!" Lanie hugs the younger Uchiha, he glares down at her.

* * *

**Jodie's P.O.V**

We finally got back to the base with the bodies.

"PEIN!" I call out. "What's Blue Kyuubi?"

Pein freezes and his stare turns icy, "What? Why? That's nonsense. Don't ask about it again."

He walks off quickly.

"Well then."

"Let's just check the library." Lanie grabs my hand, Kristy grabs the other.

"Help! NOOOOOO!" I scream, holding onto the wall. "I DON'T WANNA GO! THE LIBRARY BUUUURNS! IT BURNS SO BAAAD!"

"Let go of the wall!" Lanie smacks my hands.

"LIBRARY BAAAAD!"

"Jodie! I have candy...?" Kristy waves a Snickers bar in the air.

"Sniiiickeeersss..." I get that zombie look and follow the smell of the Snickers.

We somehow end up in the library.

"Ack! It buuurns!" I hiss.

Lanie hits me with a book, "Dear Plinko-shut up!"

"Hmmm, B's... BL..." Kristy looks through the B-section. "Blue... Here we go! Blue Kyuubi!"

We sit by the heater on the floor together and read the three books.

I got the picture book, Lanie got the chapter book, Kristy got this big fat book with a bunch of facts on the tailed beasts.

I look through my picture book silently.

* * *

"Ok, so Blue Kyuubi was an expirement." I read.

"To help protect the villages, like a military weapon." Lanie adds.

"It got a bit TOO powerful though."

"And they sealed it into 3 baby girls." Kristy starts reading off. "Years later, the 3 girls disapeared."

"Blue Kyuubi had to be split into three so it was more easier to contain." Lanie.

"It gave the baby girls special powers and issues." I read the blunt info from my picture book. "So... If we put two and two together..."

**Sasori's P.O.V**

"Blue Kyuubi is back." Leader sighs. "And the fucked up part is: it might be in the form of our 3 girls."

"Honey! I'm home!" Jodie laughs, skipping into the room. "We know what Blue Kyuubi is now!"

"Great, less for me to explain." Pein pulls out(in Lanie's words) his Magical Board.

The girls get comfortable on the couch.

"Question: Has anything weird been happening to you guys?"

The girls seem to hesitate and they share a look.

You would've never thought these brats would have such a thing sealed in them.

"Well, uh." Kristy rubs her head sheepishly. "I've gained mind reading and the ability to dodge everything!"

Lanie lifts up her shirt some, "There's a seal on my belly and I can throw up weapons see?"

She starts retching and kunai come tumbling out her mouth.

"That's disturbing." Jodie shudders.

"Oh! And I can stick to walls!"

"Lucky!" Jodie beats her with a pillow. "Damn Spiderman wanna-be!"

"What about you Jodie." Leader interupts the fight.

"Oh, uh..." Jodie looks down. "There's a, uh, voice in my head... That's not fair! They get cool powers and I get a voice in my head!"

Leader sighs and checks a small book.

"Jodie... Hm..." Pein turns and whispers something to Konan.

"Why'd you say me name like that!?" She huff.

"Jodie, go talk to Konan." He commands.

"Fine!" She follows Konan into her room.

Lanie's P.O.V

Sigh, of course things could never be normal.

"Lanie, you said you were throwing up weapons, right?" Pein rolls his eyes.

"Yup! And stick to walls!"

"You have the offensive part of Blue Kyuubi, Kristy has the defensive part, and Jodie got chakra and heart of Blue Kyuubi."

"The heart?" Lanie laughs. "What is this, a bad kung fu movie?"

"How did I not see this coming?" Kristy grumbles.

"SAY WHAAAT!?" Jodie screams from the next room over.

**Jodie's P.O.V**

I followed Konan to her room to hear things I didn't want to hear.

"Soooo, what're we talking about?" I ask awkwardly.

"The things you got from Kyuubi. You have lot's of chakra, you like things destroyed and, um..." Konan looks away awkwardly. "Your a type of succubus."

"SAY WHAAAT!?"

"Hold on! Wrong word!" Konan holds her hands up. "Your wants will... Change. Your slightly prone to blacking out, but still living life. And you'll be... A bit impulsive."

"I already am impulsive." I point out.

"Still. You'll see... Also... Try not to get angry, ok?"

"Why?"

"Either you'll explode, or you'll have a total freak out."

"Oh... Ok..."

"SON OF A BITCH!"

_**BOOMM!**_

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!"

"YOU DUMBASSES!"

* * *

**This story is getting randomer and randomer... Jodie's not exactly a succubus... just sadistic and horny...**


	7. WATERPARK!

**Jodie's P.O.V**

"Wow. How did you blow up HALF THE BASE?" I shake my head unapprovingly. I mean... it's my job to blow up the base.

Deidara and Hidan continue glaring daggers at each other.

"You IDIOTS." Pein roars. "The base was already a mess, but you just HAD to blow half of it up!"

"He started it, un." Deidara mutters.

"I DON'T CARE!"

"Oh! Oh! Pick me!" I wave my hand in the air.

"This better be good, Jodie."

"We should go on a vacation while they clean up!"

"That's... Actually a good idea." Pein nods approvingly. "But where would we go?"

"Konoha!" Us 3 girls chime. "To the best. Water park. EVER!"

Pein smirks and nods, "And you two-"

"No wait! Let me do it!" I turn to Deidara and Hidan with a feirce glare. "Clean up this mess, so help me I will rip off your manhood and force feed each of you your own! Then I'll sacrifice you to the anime-gods! ...And then Pein'll get to you!"

The two shudder.

So we head out and ditch the two dumbasses for some fun!

* * *

We stop by a shop to get us 3 some swim suits.

I pick out a black bikini with a red heart on the chest. I had on black flip flops too.

Lanie chose a bikini with green bottoms and a black top with lime green flip flops on.

Kristy chose a blue tankini with a black hair tie and blue flip flops.

"Can we go now?" Pein grumbles.

"_Someone _dosen't like swim suit shopping."

"Maybe because it looks weird to be the only guy in the store?"

* * *

We sneak into the waterpark, then split up.

I go to the big slides with Lanie, Kisame, Tobi, and Itachi.

Kristy goes to the wave pool with Sasori and Kakuzu.

Pein, Konan, and Zetsu go to the relaxation area.

"Woohoo! Let's get on the big drop!" I point frantically and jump into line.

They join me in the fast moving line.

Lanie cuts in front of me and goes down screaming.

"See ya at the bottom!" I laugh, diving down it head first.

"Hey! Your not spose to go head first!" The lifegaurd calls out.

"Don't care!" I keep sliding.

I splash into the pool at the bottom, when that stupid voice starts bugging me again.

**_'Your a scary person'_**

"Yeah, thanks." I mutter.

**_'You know whoes scarier?'_**

"Who?"

**_'Pein-sama!'_**

I start coughing and possibly choking.

_**'Come on! Go be his stalker fangirl!'**_

"No way, I'm Tobi's and Jugo's stalker fangirl! Do you know how much work that is?"

_**'Grr, go do it!'**_

I ignore the voice and go on a few slides.

Then it comes back, _**'Go! Now!'**_

"I said no!" I say a bit to loud.

People stare at me some.

"I'm going to the wave pool..." I grumble

I grab a loose floaty and swim out to sit with Kristy and Sasori.

"Yo Pinochio!" I tease. "Looking a bit sea sick, eh?"

"Oh shut up, I've been sitting here for 30 minutes," He grumbles.

"It's ok! Just kidding!" I lean back. "Just enjoy the ride!"

_**'God DAMN, just go!'**_

"For the last time. NO!"

_**'Grrr...'**_

I enjoy the wave pool until they turn it off for the next few hours.

"Oohhhh great!" I wobble a bit from being in the waves for so long. "I think my legs fell asleep!"

And we head to the relax area.

I jump in the water with the others, "Marco!"

"Polo!" They all chime.

I close my eyes and doggy paddle through the water, "Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"I think people are staring at us." A voice giggles.

"Marco bitch!"

"Polo bitch!"

I laugh at that one.

I finally tag Kristy and she counts to 30 while I swim away.

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Mar-"

"Would you guys please quiet down?" The life guard grumbles.

Kirsty pauses for a few seconds, then screams at the top of her lungs, "MARCO!"

"POLO!" We say twice as loud.

I dive under and swim across the pool to avoid being tagged.

_**'Doooo it! Doooo it!'**_

_'Shut up.'_

**_'C'mon! Dooo it! Just a quick glomp!'_**

I feel like something just zapped my mind...

"H-Hey! Your Akatsuki!" Naruto points. "Don't worry my fair mai-"

"Shhh! We're playing Marco Polo and your screwing with it!" I snap.

Then Sai walks up behind them.

"Heeey, Cutie." I step in front of him.

"Who're you?" Sai asks catiously.

"I'm Jodie! Your new girlfriend!" I laugh, wrapping my arms around him.

"Jodie! Your cheating!" Kristy snaps, throwing pool toys at me. "Get back in the pool!"

"Ahhh! It's attck of the pool toys!" I hide behind Sai. "Hmmm... NOODLE FIGHT!"

I grab a noodle and chase Kristy into the pool.

"Holy shit!" She uses a kick board as a sheild and grabs a noodle as well.

"NI NI NI NI NI!" I attack the people surronding me. "I wiin!"

**_Smack!_**

"No you don't, un." Deidara smirks.

"Oooooo, your spose to be cleaning!"

"I finished, un."

"Sure." I smack him with a noodle.

He hits me back.

"Biiiiitch!" I chase after him.

* * *

I climb out the pool and greet Sai again, "Sai-kun!"

He takes one look at me, then dashes away.

"SAI-KUN! COME BACK!" I squeal, chasing after him. "YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME!"

"Go away!"

* * *

**Poor Sai... he deserves it...**

**HEY EVERYONE! Sorry for such a long wait, I went to camp for awhile and forgot to update!**


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